Some DOs and DON'Ts for New Pet Parents

Copyright© by Jaye Denman. All rights reserved

If anyone had told me before my sixty-first year that I would find myself longing for a dog, I would have laughed out loud. I never had a pet, even as a child, and never wished for one before that watershed year. As a potential pet parent, I wasn't the ideal candidate.

I was divorced, my children were adults leading their own lives, and I lived alone. I had a busy career. I often worked long hours and occasionally traveled. It wasn't the best situation in which to have a pet, even if I had wanted one...and I didn't.

That changed--at least, the busy career part--when a fall left me injured, in chronic pain and with limited mobility at age 61. Prior to my accident, I had planned to work a year or two past the normal retirement age. I loved my work, and it played a major role in how I thought of myself. Suddenly, I couldn't work at all, was hurting a lot and sinking into a quicksand-like depression. It was after I'd endured several months of misery that my yearning for a dog began.

I didn't have a sudden ephipany: I need a dog to keep me company! Instead, the idea began as a seed in my mind that gathered strength and validity as I entertained the possibility until it became an actual plan. I researched various dog breeds online, looking at their photos and reading about their traits. I use the term "researched" with tongue firmly placed in cheek.

I simply fell in love with pictures of miniature Schnauzers, and such phrases as "very smart" and "loyal to owner" jumped off the screen at me. I ignored warnings that mini Schnauzers are more like terriers than their larger relatives. Of course, since I wasn't "researching" terriers, I knew nothing about them at the time. It was later I read that terriers are likely to be incessant barkers, very lively dogs and not easy to train. I had already made my first mistake.

DO: Realize that breed or type behavior is one of the most important factors you should consider when choosing a dog breed. It pays to talk to people who know the breed--legitimate breeders (not pet shop owners or people who run "puppy farms"), veterinarians (who see many breeds daily) and owners of the breed in which you're interested. If you're considering a mixed breed, it helps if the person or shelter from which you're getting the pup can give you an idea what breeds make up the mix. Then you should find out what those breeds are like before you make your decision.

Some breeds are great with children; some make good family pets; others really need oodles of exercise or attention, and the pet parent must be able to provide it. Some dogs do well in small homes or apartments, while others need big backyards or places where they can be safely walked every day.The best bet for a senior citizen is a small dog that doesn't require much exercise and loves to sit on your lap...the ideal companion dog. Even older people who are very fit and active need to remember that a puppy chosen now may live 15 years or longer and, during that time, the older pet parents may face health issues or other factors that slow them down. Thinking ahead can help you keep your dog, rather than have to give it up because you can't care for it properly.

In hindsight, I understand my sudden impulsive need for a puppy was akin to "empty nest syndrome", only the emptiness I felt stemmed from giving up work that gave me satisfaction and self-identity. What I was longing for was something that would give me a purpose to get out of bed every day.

Once I gave my heart to the mini Schnauzer breed, the search for my own pup was on in earnest. Serindipity led me, via a newspaper ad, to a woman who raised a couple of litters of the breed per year as a hobby. When I called, she told me that all her dogs lived inside her house, and the adult dogs slept in her bed. I thought that must surely prove beyond doubt they were adorable animals. A fairly knowledgeable person about many things, I still knew very little about dogs. My ignorance of the topic was exceeded only by my impatience to hurry up and get my own puppy.

All I knew for certain before I saw the two 7 1/2-week-old female pups Ms. Stuart had left were the gender (female) and color (salt and pepper) I wanted. I bent down to look at two puppies that looked similar, except one's facial coloring was a bit darker than the other's. I liked the way the pup with the lighter markings looked, and immediately chose her when she came over to me and nuzzled my hand. I picked her up and hugged her, knowing this was my new puppy. It didn't occur to me until much later that my marriages (which ended in divorce) were based on not-so-different selection methods than what drew me to this puppy.

Her name was chosen before I made her acquaintance. Since Schnauzers were originally bred in Germany, I looked through lists of Germanic female names on the Internet and narrowed them down to three. While driving to get the puppy, I chose my favorite plus one more. She would have (in true Southern tradition) both first and middle names. Her last name was--of course--my own.

In the grip of true puppy love, however, I began crooning endearments to my new baby as I placed her inside a basket in the car for our journey home. Sugar Puppy, Puppy Girl, Sweetie Pup, Mama's Girl ...these were just a few that lingered and carried over past her puppyhood, with Puppy Girl being the nickname that stuck the most. (Who knew that Psycho Puppy and Furryanna would be added to the list when she reached adolescence?)

I wrapped her in the baby blanket I'd brought along and carried her into the pet supply store with me.

"I need to get some things for my new puppy," I told a sales clerk, whose eyes immediately reflected big dollar signs as he loaded my shopping cart with several hundred bucks worth of necessities.

Next was a trip to the veterinarian, who pronounced her healthy, and, just to make certain she stayed that way, sold me the chain animal hospital's puppy healthcare plan. I was learning fast that it might be as expensive to successfully care for a dog as to rear a human child. I've learned a great deal more since then. Therefore, let me warn you how to avoid my second big mistake.

DO: Invest in a good pet health insurance plan before your dog has a chance to get sick. I'm not referring to the well-known chain animal hospital's plan, which was touted as a discount plan to cut costs and it did, somewhat, when she was spayed and again, when she needed an operation. However, there are several nationally known pet insurance plans for which you pay premiums. They can help enormously if your pet sustains a serious injury or a major and costly illness. Many of these plans do not pay for routine care, nor do they pay any benefits for an illness which is considered "pre-existing."

For example, my dog was very sick with pancreatitis twice, and her vet says that Schnauzers are prone to get it because their lipid levels tend to be higher than those of other breeds. Because she had it before being enrolled in the first pet care plan I chose, that plan would have paid zilch for reoccurences. Unfortunately, pet healthcare insurance was not included in the recent HealthCare Reform Act.

Update: I changed pet insurance plans when I found one that not only has wellness benefits, but also did not count her bouts with pancreatitis as a pre-existing condition. It's VPI Pet Insurance, and I consider the premiums as important as those I pay for my own coverage.

My advice is to skip the animal hospital's discount plan (in fact, I would urge you to skip the chain hospital altogether, which is owned by a corporation, and the corporate byword is "greed"). They make a lot of profit from vaccinations, and if you don't know your state's requirements for rabies vaccinations (which may be every three years instead of yearly), they may "forget" to tell you. That was my experience, and Puppy Girl suffered for it with a bad reaction to the injection given her when she was two years old.

After that, I looked for and found a good independent animal clinic with caring vets and technicians who were focused on my pet's health and wellbeing. She now gets excellent care, and I have confidence in everyone there who takes care of her. All Creatures Animal Care Clinic (don't you love the name?) also has someone on call for emergencies at all times, which the chain clinic does not have. Her current vet uses titers to check her blood for immunity and save her from taking vaccine boosters not needed; that is, in all instances except for rabies, which is mandated by my state's law to be repeated every three years.

I brought my Puppy Girl home with the blissful ignorance born of a formerly no-pets life, and thought of her as my baby girl. My naive belief was that all I had to do was feed and water her, keep her safe and love her. Voila! She would grow up to be a wonderful little dog who would love me as much as I loved her. No problems expected. Did I mention I was pet-naive?

When I phoned my family and friends to announce that I had a new four-legged roommate, the disbelief was palpable.

"You're kidding, right?" said one son. "You don't even like dogs."

"I do now," was my reply, and my silly, adoring behavior with my new puppy soon astounded everyone who saw me with her. In a way, becoming Big Mama (as opposed to her little "dog" mama) to my Puppy Girl helped me relate to animals in a way that reading about them or seeing them without the emotional context of pet ownership had never been able to do. Over time, as my little Schnauzer girl completely stole my heart, I've evolved into a person of whom I'm proud. The pre-pet Jaye would not have thought about signing petitions against cruelty to animals or donating to pet shelters. Now, these issues are important to me.

First on the agenda with my new puppy was house-training. Thanks to the breeder, who told me her mama dog's puppies practically house-trained themselves--all I had to do was take her outdoors every 30 minutes until she got the idea--that task was successful. I actually took her on leash to the backyard "potty place" I wanted her to use, and I did it nearly every half-hour, day and night, for weeks. She had very few accidents, but I grew to regret that I didn't first paper train her, then train her outdoors. She had a dislike for rain or even walking in wet grass from puppyhood, and that disdain has never left her.

We live in an area where it sometimes rains daily for a week or more, and there are frequent thunderstorms in the spring and fall. Puppy Girl's distaste for going potty in the rain (she absolutely hates it when I open a big umbrella over us) or its aftermath--wet grass--have frequently made me wish that I could have a "do-over" with respect to paper-training. Contrary to what those ads for puppy litter boxes and "guaranteed" training results with older dogs declare, Puppy Girl knew before she was three months old that "potty" meant outdoors . Indoors was taboo for that purpose. She's never changed her mind.

In retrospect, I can see that Puppy Girl was a naturally good puppy. She crunched on her puppy kibble and treats. She chewed on her chew toys, especially when she was teething. What she didn't do was chew on slippers, the furniture, or other out-of-bounds objects, except for one stray dryer sheet that floated down to the floor. She tried to eat it, and I had to wrest it out of her mouth before she could choke. She was not an indiscriminate "chewer", like some dogs that will chew up your most cherished possessions, but I didn't realize then how lucky I was.

Nor did I realize how foolish it was of me not to enroll her in obedience class--puppy kindergarten--when she was young. Remember what I thought at the beginning of all this? I only had to feed and water her...love her...she would grow up to be a wonderful dog and love me....So, no early dog training. Another big mistake.

DON'T: You may think that buying and reading a book or two about training dogs will make you an expert and save you the cost of obedience class. If you, unlike me, get across that key first lesson to your puppy--" I'm the leader of the pack; you're the follower"--it may work, especially if you're consistent in reinforcing good behavior and not inadvertently reinforcing undesired behavior.

In my case, the puppy learned very quickly that I was not displaying pack leader skills, so she promoted herself to that role. I've never managed to completely change her mind. While it's true that older dogs can be retrained, which is great because so many shelter dogs aren't puppies when they're adopted, the older dog who lives with a pet parent who never established herself/himself as the pack leader will be a tough sell on later-in-life training. Trust me, and get thyself and puppy to an obedience class early in your relationship. My recommendation is to find a trainer who uses positive reinforcement and kindness, and doesn't lean heavily toward the dominance theory of training.

Well, I do think my Puppy Girl is wonderful, and she does indeed love me, but I passed up that all-important opportunity for puppy kindergarten when she was at the ideal age to learn good manners. I was home with her nearly all the time, and she demonstrated a textbook example of separation anxiety, with me as her enabler. She's never been destructive when left alone for a few hours, but she's always kept watch at the front window until my return. That high-pitched Thank goodness Mama's home bark is heard as soon as I open the car door. She seems nearly beside herself with joy when I unlock the front door--and yes, I let her jump up on me in welcome. (Are you counting my mistakes?)

When Puppy Girl was nine months old, she used her crate for an occasional nap with the door open, and its door was only fastened when I left her alone and unsupervised. Within six more months, I put away her crate for good and allowed her full run of the house. By that time, she'd outgrown her soft-sided sleeping "condo" and learned to jump up on my bed. You guessed it. I let her stay. She's slept with me ever since, and usually stays on her own side of the bed with her head on her own pillow. When I turn out the lamp after reading at night and turn over on my side, facing away from the bed, Puppy Girl turns over in the other direction and backs up against my back. She's usually still there when I awake in the morning, though sometimes (much like a toddler) turns sideways in the bed. If I decide to sleep in, she's content to catch a few more winks, too.

Some trainers write that you should never let a pet sleep on your bed. Others differ in opinion and let their own dogs sleep with them. Therefore, I don't consider letting her into my bed a mistake, although the trainers who insist you shouldn't allow it say it detracts from the dog accepting you as pack leader. Okay...we already know that job's been lost to me for years....

Puppy Girl takes her role as Guard Dog very, very seriously. The same mail carrier has been bringing bills, magazines and packages to the house six days a week for years, but she barks maniacally every day as soon as she spots him walking down the other side of the street and doesn't stop until he leaves our front yard. Every time. All other delivery or repair people get the same treatment. She barks at kids walking down the street, at squirrels running across the top of our fence and, especially, at cats that have the temerity to get close to our yard. She cannot stand cats. One of my neighbor's felines apparently gets her kicks by walking back and forth across my front lawn, taunting my dog while Puppy Girl rears up on the bay window and barks hysterically. After a while, I play the villain, opening the front door and yelling "Scat!" Then I tell my girl, "It's okay, Baby, the cat's gone," and she gets quiet and lies down on the sofa to recover from the trauma.

She barks just as frantically, though in a different tone of bark, when family or friends come to visit. Boy, does she love it when we have guests, particularly those people she knows well and loves. When a familiar vehicle pulls into the driveway, her high-pitched welcome starts, as she runs back and forth from the window to the front door, impatient for them to hurry up and come inside to see her--right now!

Miniature Schnauzers have so many different sounds, they are often said to "talk", and my girl is no exception. I can tell whether it's friend or foe by the type of bark, even when it's the same intensity. Her little "grumble, grumble, mutter, mutter, mutter" sound lets me know she's not happy about something, but not really upset. After she stops barking at a repairman who has stooped down to let her sniff his hand, she snorts a few times just to show him that she's still watching. A short, loud bark before she turns to run for the back door tells me it's time for a potty break. A harsh bark or two while standing by my side in the evening is her "it's bedtime, Mama " reminder, and I rarely have to look at the clock to know that it's around 8:15 p.m. Sometimes I continue what I'm doing for a while, and she will settle onto a big floor pillow or sofa to nap. Other times, I turn down the covers, and she jumps up and gets comfy on her side of the bed while I get ready to stretch out and read until I'm sleepy.

She even has a sound that's almost a long sigh reserved for those blissed-out moments when I've given her a lengthy tummy rub or massaged her back and ears. Every morning when she wakes up, she rolls over on her back, and waits for her tummy rub. If I'm too slow, or try to stop too soon, she uses her front paws to grab my hand. Spoiled? I don't think so. She just loves her tummy tickles and back massages. That's little enough to ask of me when she gives me so much happiness.

I felt guilty about all her barking a while back and hired a dog behavioral expert for private consultation and training. She came to the house to teach my girl some new behaviors to replace not-so-admired ones, such as barking loudly when the doorbell rings. Using a pocket full of tasty treats, the expert put Puppy Girl through her paces. I was astounded at how quickly my little girl responded to the lessons. This expert told me, "Miniature Schnauzers are generally pretty smart, but I've never trained a dog that caught on as fast as this one does." I practiced with Puppy Girl while the expert was here, and she still behaved beautifully. I was such a proud pet parent. Guess what happened when the "whisperer" left? Right! No amount of reinforcement helped. She had impressed the lady who gave her treats for quickly learning new tricks. No need to impress Mama, who will feed her anyway.

When my Schnauzer girl was still partly in the adolescent stage, but becoming an adult, my elderly mother came to live with us for the last three years of her life. Talk about two great new friends! Mom insisted that Puppy Girl was smiling at her, and my friendly furball adored her Grandma. Every morning until Mom became frail, she was awakened with puppy kisses tickling her neck, and the giggles that came from her bedroom gladdened my heart. Mom reveled in sneaking her friend pieces of people food under the table, which I largely ignored because it made them both happy. When my mother's final illness took away her ability to walk, I could no longer allow Puppy Girl to jump up on her bed or into her lap as Mom sat in her wheelchair. Even so, the love between the two friends was still evident. Mom liked to pet her gently on top of her head between her ears, and Puppy Girl sat there patiently enjoying the petting and her time with Grandma. When Mom passed away, Puppy Girl walked through the house repeatedly looking for Grandma, and she lay her head in my lap as I grieved.

DON'T: If you're a senior citizen and in relatively good health, you shouldn't deny yourself the joy of having a dog to live with you. A dog is not only a good pet for the young, but can be better than medicine for the elderly. I'm now in my late sixties, and the dog sharing my home and life is a wonderful companion. She cheers me up when I'm feeling a bit down, often by bringing me a toy and play-bowing to indicate she'd like a game of catch. She overlooks my faults and loves me unconditionally. She is seven years old, and I try not to think ahead too far into the future. As long as I can take care of myself and of her, we will be together until one of us leaves the planet. In the event I become disabled or die before she does, I've asked a someone whom Puppy Girl loves to become her guardian. This plan was necessary for my piece of mind. If she leaves me first...well, I try not to let that pass through my mind even fleetingly. Losing a beloved pet is, as far as I'm concerned, the only downside to giving your heart to a dog.

Yet, I would not have missed the joy she's given me for anything, even if I could have foreseen heartache before bringing her into my life. Whatever the future holds for us, my Puppy Girl has made me happier than I could have possibly imagined when I was first beset by that longing for a puppy. I'm optimistic. The average lifespan of a miniature breed dog is about 15 years, and many well-cared-for dogs live even longer. What I wish for Puppy Girl is what I also wish for myself: to live as long as overall health is relatively good, cognitive ability lasts and life is enjoyable. I hope we both enjoy our lives together as long as possible.

Not knowing any better when my best friend was still a puppy, I fed her the store-bought brand of dog food suggested by her first vet (the one in the chain animal hospital affliated with the pet store that sold the food). Then I learned more about the quality of various dog foods and bought only what I considered the finest quality. No byproducts, no cheap ingredients as fillers...only the best for mama's girl. I also steered clear of corn, to which she is allergic. Due to my personal aversion to the inhumane factory farming of poultry, beef and pork, there's no way I will contribute to the profits of these agribusinesses, so organic protein and other ingredients were my choice.

Update: After finding an online alert about a tainted batch of the commercial dog food I thought was safe, I switched to making her meals at home. It's not difficult, I know exactly what her food contains, and I supplement the food's nutrients with a canine multivitamin/mineral chewable as well as powdered enzymes and probiotics. With her vet's blessing, she also gets treats of blueberries, peeled, de-cored and chopped apple and--her personal favorite, half of my banana. She can tell from the other end of the house when I reach into the fruit bowl and pick up a banana. By the time I've started to peel it, she's sitting at my feet, waiting for me to pinch off a few bits for her to eat from my hand.

Schnauzers like to eat, and she would make herself sick if allowed to eat on demand. I put half of her daily food portion in her bowl mid-morning and the other half about 4:30 p.m. Now that I'm giving her homemade food, she eats all of it at once. No coaxing is necessary. Of course, she has clean fresh water in her water bowl all the time. Her medical history dictates that she no longer gets even a taste of high-fat "people food", and I am vigilant to protect her from getting any of the foods or other substances that are toxic to dogs.

DON'T: Never give your dog chicken bones that are prone to splinter and could puncture her intestine, any of the foods known to be toxic to dogs (chocolate, grapes or raisins, onions, macadamia nuts, garlic), greasy table scraps or junk food. I encourage everyone to consider making your dog's food at home, with guidance from your veterinarian relative to ingredients and ratios of each, as well as portion control. Puppy Girl's weight remains constant, to the fraction of a pound, since she's been eating her homemade meals. Her cholesterol level (which is checked regularly since she had pancreatitis) stays in the safe zone, and her coat is shiny.

Other toxic items that your dog may think are food, such as antifreeze, rat poison,alcohol, acetone (and others that you can find listed online or in books about proper care of dogs) should never be left where she can come in contact with them. I've read that antifreeze has a sweet taste that attracts pets, and a very small amount will kill a dog. If you have toxic chemicals at your house that could poison your dog, keep them locked away in a storage room or shed, preferably on a high shelf.

The same goes for any medications, whether prescription or over-the-counter. Many tablets have a sugar base, and dogs love sugar even though it's bad for them (just as people do). Be extra careful when you shake a pill into your hand so that nothing else falls from the bottle onto the floor where your dog can find and eat it. One stray acetaminophen tablet eaten by a dog could cause kidney failure. I open medication bottles over a wide counter to ensure that I don't drop a capsule or pill on the floor, and always take my meds when I'm not sleepy (which is safer for both my pet and me).

You should also become familiar with the hundreds of plants that are toxic to dogs, and either keep them out of your home and yard, or make certain she can't get to them for a chance nibble. Your dog's health is your responsibility, and it's up to you to keep her safe from harm. She (or he) trusts you. Don't ever let your dog down by being careless.

Since one of the joys of loving a dog (for me, anyway) is dressing her up, Puppy Girl has a better wardrobe than I do. She's had Halloween costumes, a Santa hat for Christmas, tee shirts with printed messages, even a pretty dress and a polka-dot bikini. Her raincoat and boots come in handy when stormy weather sets in for days. We don't have long harsh winters in the deep South, but she still appreciates a sweater in January and February. Her plush topcoat keeps her warm outdoors when wintery winds blow, and she snuggles indoors in her PJs (that cover all four legs and her body while leaving an opening in case she has to go potty).

In summer, she goes au naturel , with a short Schnauzer cut or even with her coat nearly shaved during the hottest temps. Whatever her look, whether clothed or not, I attempt to make her "girly." That's a tough goal when the girl in question has a beard! I compromise on the beard because she gets food in it and doesn't like having it combed twice a day. I keep it trimmed in a shorter version than the longer beard customary for Schnauzers, so it's easier to keep clean and un-matted. Since she's been eating homemade food, which is "wet" rather than dry (like kibble), I use a baby wipe after each meal to ensure there are no bits of food left in her whiskers, followed by a quick brush. I also increased brushing her teeth to a daily routine. This is important, not only for her breath, but for her dental and general health now that she eats a moist cooked food.

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I waited till rather late in life to learn the joys of loving and being loved by a pet. Still, it's "better late than never", as the old saw goes. Sure, I've made mistakes because I didn't know any better. Some I've corrected; I can live with others. One thing is for certain: Puppy Girl has brought more joy into my life than I expected from that little bundle of fur I brought home in early 2005. I only hope she feels she got as good of a deal.

DO: Whatever your dog's level or training and manners, enjoy the pet that blesses your life. Your family and friends will love you, but your idiosyncracies or facets of your personality may sometimes annoy them. There may be some topics you avoid in their presence because of potential disagreement. Your dog, however, doesn't care about your personality, if you've gained a few pounds, how you vote or what your opinions are. As long as you are kind to her or him and provide the necessities (and whatever "extras" you can afford), you can count on receiving unceasing unconditional love from your pooch. Who else will give you "kisses" when you're moody? If you're already a dog's human, count your blessings. If you're thinking about becoming a pet parent, please learn everything you can to help you be the best one possible.

One more suggestion, and this is something I learned after choosing my own pet. Check out a local pet shelter before you look anywhere else for a dog. By adopting a dog, you may bypass the cute puppy stage, but that can be an advantage. You may get a dog that's already house-trained. (You won't miss that stage a bit!) Giving a homeless dog a "forever home" and lots of love will earn you plenty of gratitude from your new pet and give you the satisfaction of knowing you saved that dog's life.

Thanks…Jaye

I hope you enjoyed reading about my adventures as a pet parent on the "learn-as-you-go" plan, and will appreciate your rating this article as well as making comments.